– Nick, 10 years
Two terms of criminology used for school-age children and describe a phenomenon of violence, so close to us, αλλά δυστυχώς και τόσο μακριά.
Close, because in our country it occurs in a wide and growing range [statistics, among other European countries, Greece is among the top (Source: Dart Europe, Assosiation of european research libraries)] και μακριά, because mostly, Teachers and parents apparently unaware, justifying their stance by many, dysfunctional attitudes and prejudices, They tend to describe the phenomenon as a normal part of childhood and school life. ("Children are, would berate ")
therefore understood the importance of awareness, prevention and early intervention by teachers and parents, something that has so far seen little in our country, at least an organized degree.
What is bullying;
Is not the usual quip children together, καθώς δεν είναι αμοιβαίο και ισότιμο και δεν γίνεται με φιλικό τρόπο.
Conversely, It is something hurting the child and does not stop when annoying.
It can take many forms:
- physical violence (shoves, kicks, punches, slapping, Hair pulling etc.) "Every noon, the way home, waited with the same company to hit, and students and nationalists ripped my clothes ... "
- emotional violence (deliberate isolation of the child, soiling, conceal, destroy stuff, to blackmail for money, to threaten etc.) "It is not enough that they rubbed shoulders with, They had threatened and all the other girls that any spoke would find me the trouble ... "
- verbal abuse (mockery, swearing, sarcasm, irony, disseminating false reputation, bad comments on ethnic origin or economic situation of a child and his family, gestures, slanderous graffiti etc.) "Fooling about my color, with Stinker they said they did it smell bad just accost them ... "
- sexual violence (unwanted touching, threats, abusive, vulgar letters and images, teasing etc.) "Continue with cornered and tried to put my hand. I did not like it, It was not game, the feared, and he was telling everyone that I. In the end I did not go to school ... "
- electronic violence (Internet use, email, chat room, and mobile calls and sms to a offensive and menacing content, using a camera in order to threat and humiliation of the child) "Suddenly opened the toilet, μ΄ έβγαλαν φωτογραφία με το κινητό και μετά την έδειχναν τα άλλα παιδιά…»
There are "signs" that should not be ignored by the parent;
However, each child reacts differently to such a phenomenon. Many children are injured psychologically, εγκαταλείπουν το σχολείο ή ακόμη οδηγούνται στην αυτοκτονία.
They are, Well, important not to ignore sudden changes in the child's behavior, as well as evidence, such as the following:
- The child returns home hungry, with torn clothes, damaged books, of things missing, asking or stealing money (to give the abuser-blackmailer), then loses his snack or money.
- It has unexplained bruises-hits and gives improbable explanations for these.
- The child becomes inexplicably aggressive at home, irrational, causes trouble, attacking other children or siblings.
- Afraid to use the phone or email and frightened when receiving message on mobile.
- Afraid to walk to school and begs to go to school by car.
- You do not want to use the bus route changes going to school.
- He wants to go to school, makes absenteeism / truancy. Shows restless / loses self-belief.
- Begins to stutter. Stop eating. Crying before sleep / have nightmares. Threatens Suicide. Restores habits infancy, όπως το να βρέχει το κρεβάτι του ή να πιπιλίζει το δάχτυλο.
What can parents of the child - victim
- At first, to recognize the problem and do not fear to face, ούτε και φυσικά να υποβαθμίσουν τη σημασία του.
- To take an active role and intervene directly, without ignoring the problem. The logic of "children are playing", δεν είναι πάντα σωστή.
- Encourage the child to talk and not to be afraid, να το βοηθήσουν να καταλάβει ότι δεν πρέπει να ντρέπεται να εκφράσει στους γονείς του οτιδήποτε το απασχολεί.
- Na the show directly how to defend himself: eg to emphasize another child how much bother what it does. This should be done in a direct way: "I do not want to xanapeiraxeis. I bother me that you do and I want to stop now!»
Most children are afraid to speak, and that's the problem
They are, therefore, duty of the parent to ensure an effective communication with the child and show him how to treat the phenomenon, naturally enhancing self confidence of, which is the aim. The child should reach a point to feel able to defend himself.
- So, must, να ενισχύουν τα ταλέντα και τις ικανότητες του.
- To boost the confidence and respect for themselves and to give opportunities for initiative and action, ενισχύοντας έτσι την διεκδικητικότητα του.
- Do not be overprotective, αλλά να φροντίζουν την ασφάλεια του με διακριτικό τρόπο.
- Να επιμελούνται την υγιεινή του και να του μαθαίνουν τρόπους να φροντίζει και να αποδέχεται τον εαυτό του.
- Encourage close friendships.
What can parents of child offenders
"It's a little aggressive at school, but I believe that is because of his age. No worries. "
Long term, It will benefit more dynamic and effective intervention, a silent tolerance.
Εξ’ άλλου φέρουν κι αυτοί μερίδιο ευθύνης για την συμπεριφορά του παιδιού τους. Είναι καλό να προτρέπουν το παιδί να επανορθώσει την πράξη.
Use sanctions when needed, but not in a spirit of vengeance, αλλά με πρόθεση το παιδί να καταλάβει γιατί δεν πρέπει να έχει αυτή τη συμπεριφορά.
It is therefore important, να επιβλέπουν το παιδί περισσότερο και να μειώσουν την τηλεθέαση βίας και την υπερβολική ενασχόληση με τον υπολογιστή ή τα βίαια ηλεκτρονικά παιχνίδια.
Seek quality time with him outside of the house or even the city. They can, yet, to know their friends and children to communicate with their parents and also to help them to find creative ways to aggression.
They should try to show them their love in practice , but not with gifts and rewards.
To set limits and do not succumb to their every desire. This fear and guilt that many parents have when they do not make the sake of their child, leads them to become uncontrollable in their behavior and require attention, χωρίς να σέβονται.
To teach respect, την ισότητα των ανθρώπων και την κατανόηση στο διαφορετικό.
Να φροντίζουν για το ήρεμο κλίμα μέσα στο σπίτι και να επικοινωνούν μεταξύ τους χωρίς διενέξεις όταν το παιδί είναι μπροστά.
As difficult as it sounds, it is important for the overall mental health of the child.
What can parents do (generally)
- To know their friends and children often communicate with the class teacher. Encourage the child to create meaningful friendships.
- Do not ignore and tolerate bullying, but supervise the child and to impose penalties respecting the personality of, wherever it needs.
- Ensure the child finds outlets and creative energy of relieves. It goes without saying that it should maintain a peaceful and secure atmosphere in the family. Aggression and violence are easily reproduced when daily experienced at home by persons- behavior patterns, such parents.
- Provide security and emotional support to the child and the strengthening of self-esteem / self-confidence of.
- End, do not hesitate to consult an expert, when they feel that they can not help enough.
Share and thou the voice of a child who has received Bullying